Some Thoughts After 50 Days in France

Day 50 in Paris

It would be dishonest of me to say that I have been thoroughly enjoying my time in Paris so far. It has been hard re-adjusting to student life, losing my independence, and losing my free time. In the back of my head I knew that these things were things that I would have to deal with, but I'm surprised at how much it's affecting me. I suspect this will pass, but thinking about the differences in the way I feel about being in France for a year between this time around and my year as an exchange student has had me thinking about how I actually think about France.

I still love France, its respect for tradition, for supporting culture and the arts, the slower pace of life, the food and wine, etc. But its becoming increasingly obvious to me that I could not live here for any extended period of time.

I think I mentioned my amazement how nothing has changed in Paris since I last left. That awe has turned to frustration. Not only has nothing physically changed, nothing internally has changed. To me, it's as if the world kept on moving and France and Paris has been stuck. In my eyes, respect for tradition has become a stubbornness to innovate. How can an entire city (or even country) have such poor internet service, such arcane processes for doing the simplest things like getting a monthly metro pass, signing up for a phone plan, etc.? This stubbornness is also expressed in a complete lack of academic creativity. Students are afraid to test the limits, to try new arguments, or to even write down anything that hasn't already been previously dictated by the professor. This is something I had experience before, but the extent of it is only now hitting me, which I suppose is my own fault.

A slower pace of life has become an excuse for why everything, banks, student registrar offices, government functions, etc. take so long to process. I'm fairly sure that in any other developed country, not responding to emails or phone calls in a professional setting is unacceptable, and yet, it's happened more than several times since I've been in France. I'm not just talking about not responding in 2 or even 3 days, which would be U.S. standards, but simply not responding at all. It's mind-blowing. As my Aussie friend found out after a frustrating experience in Orange Telecom, you can all chalk it up to the fact that everything is just as it is (meaning incredibly illogical and frustrating) "parce que nous sommes en France," because, we are in France. It's not a valid excuse, but the fact that someone would actually give you that as an explanation, just makes the situation so much clearer.

Needless to say, I am very much looking forward to London next year. The native anglophone students in my program (all three of us), have started a sort of informal anglophone support group. I don't hate Paris. Everyone in my program and the friends I've made so far, both French and non-French are terrific, intelligent, and kind. And even the French kids seem to know how frustrating their own country is. So maybe there is hope for the future. But for now, as much as it would have pained the 20-year old in me to say, this city makes me more proud to be an American than I would have ever been in New York.